He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
Randomize