WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
Randomize
