Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
Randomize
