I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
Randomize
