Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
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