I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
Houston, we have a squirter
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
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