He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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