he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
Randomize
