she looked like the before picture.
You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
Randomize
