How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
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