bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
Randomize
