im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
He called me for phone sex. Do you know how hard it is to fake an orgasm, and play Candy Crush at the same time?
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
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