Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
Randomize
