covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
Randomize
