I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
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