4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
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