you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Randomize
