Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
You came out of the bathroom, said "I'M DRUNK BUT I REMEMBERED TO WASH MY HANDS!" and then insisted that she smell them.
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
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