She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
Randomize
