My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
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