I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
Randomize
