your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
Randomize
