We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
