Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
Randomize
