No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
You're earring is so big in my mouth
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize
