TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
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