Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
Why did I wake up this morning with 10 tally marks on my hand and a penis drawn on my tits?
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
Randomize
