just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
I lost the right to judge tonight
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
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