The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
to be fair i didnt know she wanted to sleep with me
WHY THE FUCK ELSE WOULD SHE DRAG A STRAIGT MAN INTO A VICTORIA'S SECRET CHANGEROOM GODDAMMIT
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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