This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
Randomize
