So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
Randomize
