Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
Randomize
