I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
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