it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
Randomize
