so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
Randomize
