finding my wedding ring encrusted in vomit this morning really just topped off last night...
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
Randomize
