The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
I'm on my "fiiiiirrrst" glass of wine- the quotes mean it's the last of the bottle- so I really need you to pick up your phone so we can talk about this
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
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