chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
Can't talk, ducks in the car
What would I even say at the wedding? "Sorry that I still wouldn't sleep with you after four years of you trying...but hopefully my sister here isn't that stubborn" and give him an awkward pat on the back?
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
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