He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
Randomize
