ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
Randomize
