I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
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