Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
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