You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
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