You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Randomize
