I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
Randomize
