boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
Randomize
