Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
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