butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
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