sorry about calling you the devil all night.
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
Randomize
