Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
Randomize
