You smell like stripper and shame
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Randomize
