i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
Randomize
