dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
