My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
Randomize
