Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
Turns out that my surprise "happy birthday" drop-in for my dad turned into a "my parents like afternoon sex a lot" realization.
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
Randomize
