im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
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