Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
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