So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
This beer is not sobering me up at all
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
I just blew my weed a kiss
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
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