so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
Randomize
