so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
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