If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
Randomize