Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
You know you suck at relationships when you are sitting in the airport on Christmas day, alone, swiping on Tinder.
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
