So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
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