Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
Randomize
