yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Randomize
